


the glittery colorful elephant in the room

by jaythewriter



Series: to know oneself [2]
Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Awkward Crush, Gen, Gender Issues, Identity Searching, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-03
Updated: 2015-09-03
Packaged: 2018-04-18 20:47:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4719908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaythewriter/pseuds/jaythewriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arin looks a little different today. Dan definitely notices, and wishes he could maybe stop noticing so very much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the glittery colorful elephant in the room

**Author's Note:**

> hey, i'm back with another trans!arin fic. i couldn't leave well enough alone so i made another one, sequel type thing to the other one i wrote that will be linked. again, had the same friend mentioned before look it over to be sure i wasn't writing anything insensitive against the trans community, and she said it was awesome. 
> 
> another disclaimer here- arin is still being referred to with 'he' because he has yet to figure out what's up with himself so he can't name what pronouns he wants, especially as he isn't even aware yet that this is a gender issue he's dealing with. plus, still left ambiguous as to what he is so readers can interpret their own vision of arin in this fic.
> 
> finally, just a tiny warning for maybe some unintentional transphobia on dan's part, more along the lines of him not understanding why arin is wearing makeup. other than that, enjoy.

Dan doesn't know what to make of it.

The pink pajama pants? Cool, Arin looks sweet in pink. Christmas shopping is easier, less limits to what Dan can get him in terms of clothes.

Playing as girl characters, he definitely can get behind Arin's reasoning for that. They're cuter and fun and it always endears certain parts of their audience to him. Nothing kills a conversation for Dan faster than hearing bullshit machismo sexist whatever, anyway. Calling a female character useless? Nice, real nice, go back to fifth grade.

Makeup, though.

Dan never guessed that he would be coming in to Arin wearing a full face of powder and goop. Again, nothing wrong with it, Dan had his years where he wore eyeliner and skinny jeans, had his share of bullies that couldn't cope with the fact that he looked good in them.

It's just, well, unexpected. Dan saw that video Suzy put on her channel, had a good laugh over Arin's terror upon having a mascara wand hovering over his eye. It was pretty clear to Dan that Arin would never willingly put it on himself unless it was for work.

Still. They're not scheduled to film a commercial or a live action segment. Just grumping today followed by some editing, if they have the patience for it.

It's not that much of a difference. His lips shimmer when Arin stands under the right light, and his eyelids shouldn't be quite so dark on their own, but besides that, he's pretty much himself. Sweatpants, a rumpled grump shirt that he definitely wore yesterday, the usual mess of carefree attire that he's come to expect of his partner.

But the makeup, no, he never expected that.

It's not a bad thing. Dan isn't one to judge or stare, or, well, maybe a little bit he is but only because it's so new. Not because it's weird. It really isn't. But he can't not look, what does Arin think he's going to do? /Not/ look? After all--

"So you done eye fucking me? Cos if you are we can just get down to regular old fucking."

Nothing like spraying Coke down your front first thing in the morning.

"I am so fucking glad that was caught on microphone," Arin grins, eyes fixed ahead on the television screen despite his excitedly bouncing knees.

"Well, can't say it's the worst way to drag me back to reality," Dan admits through a disbelieving laugh. "I haven't done something like that, like, ever? I thought it was something that happened in cartoons."

"Well there you go, new life experience there, courtesy of me," Arin teases, getting in one more platform crossing before freezing Mario in place on screen. "Think we need to pause to get you cleaned up."

"That would be lovely," Dan agrees before stretching over to hit the record button. He stands up and immediately bolts for the door; he wasn't going to let it soak in and end up sitting in a sticky hoodie all day.

The bathroom, thankfully, is right down the hall from the recording studio. At first, Dan doesn't realize he's being followed; the sound proofed room does its job well. He only notices that Arin has snuck in after him when he steps inside and hears him yelp upon having the door swing into his face.

“Jesus, are you okay? You need to warn a guy first!” 

“I’m fine, I’m fine, pain works better than coffee when it comes to waking me up,” Arin says, cupping his nose for a second and pulling his hand away, checking for blood. “Get yourself cleaned up, we’re on a schedule here, man.”

“Yeah, sure,” Dan babbles without much thought, grabbing for paper towels from the sink. Whoever was here last didn’t put it up into the dispenser; asshole. Not enough towels either, he thinks, no, needs more than that… or maybe he needs to calm down and just confront the elephant in the room. Or is it even an elephant? Is /he/ being an asshole for being so mystified by Arin’s appearance? Only one way to find out, right?

“So any reason you’re looking at me like I’ve grown two heads?”

Or maybe Arin will be the one to drag it out into the open. How very Arin-like.

“Well, that tiny growth that resembles a head on the side of your neck isn’t helping,” Dan jokes, because that’s what he knows best, but Arin isn’t having it. He receives nothing more than a quirked eyebrow, which tears him down and forces him to quit beating around the bush. Sighing, he rubs the soaked shirt with a wad of towels, looking down rather than meeting Arin’s darkly lined eyes. “It’s probably nothing, like, I’m eighty percent sure I’m being stupid, but I’m just really confused by your face today.”

“Confused?” Arin blinks, not a single ounce of defense to his tone. He glances over at the mirror covered in smeary handprints, left uncleaned for at least the past month. “Just looks like my face.”

“C’mon, Arin, you gotta know what I’m talking about,” Dan sighs. His shirt is definitely dry now but he still scrubs at it, face flushing.

"Yeah, I ain't that unaware of my surroundings," Arin says. He flips his hair from his eyes, strands of it sticking to his gleaming lips. "I was just seeing if you would bring it up yourself. No need to be so scared."

"Not scared, more like, don't wanna be that jerk if it turns out I'm actually being a jerk about it," Dan says, finally balling up the towels and tossing it into the bin. "So like, am I being a jerk if I'm confused?”

Arin shrugs, shuffling his feet. Any confidence he was wearing for the Grump session is gone now, mostly shy. Nervous. Maybe.

"I don't really think so? Like it's new, so it's weird and stuff that way, but if you're calling it weird cos you think I'm weird for it, then yes. You're an asshole."

Dan tries his best to contain his nervous laughter, letting out a tiny chuckle instead.

"Of course /you're/ not weird for it! I mean, you're weird but you're you so yeah you're weird but not like, weird weird or--"

"Dan."

That's a "shut up, you're being stupid and babbling now" Dan. He shoves his hands into his pockets and looks up to Arin-- he must've sunk down, nerves too heavy, and now Arin stands tall. Fists at his sides, jaw set, but he's strong. Stronger than ever.

Dan closes his mouth.

"Listen. I need to work some things out about myself. Suzy suggested that I try this when... I dunno, I don't want to make things weird--"

"Okay let's agree not to say weird, it doesn't sound like a real word anymore."

Dan sees the confusion pass Arin's tense face, then watches in relief while it all melts away in a single giggle.

"Yeah, huh," he sighs before reaching to take Dan's arm, gripping him by the elbow. A touch for support. "I don't get it either, Dan. And I'm for any input you might have except any that might be calling me a freak, or, I dunno, that I look ugly..."

"No."

He wasn't really thinking about it before. Like, at first he was just puzzled, since, well, makeup, on his non makeup wearing best friend.

But now that Arin points out a possibility where he could be ugly... well, no.

He's not stunning, he's not a blonde bombshell walking down the street, eyes sticking to him like burrs sticking to somebody’s socks while traveling a forest.

But he's sweet. The powder softens him, puts a kind twinkle in his eye, and-- shit, okay, Dan has to admit, he's cute. His lips pouting in uncertainty like that, light catching the sparkles, he's fucking adorable.

And he says as much-- "you look good, kinda cute." He wants to say more, but is it really his place? No, not while Arin is still wriggling around trying to find out just what he wants.

Arin preens at the compliment, giving his lengthening hair a nice toss. Danny even receives an exaggerated wink, one that would be a little hot if Arin wasn't pulling a face that involved his tongue lolling out onto his chin.

"I don't get it, but I don't gotta," Dan admits before slapping Arin on the back. "I'm your friend, dude. I'll help you through this best I can."

When Dan's hand creeps up to his shoulder, Arin reaches up to cover it with his own.

He squeezes, and with all the sincerity somebody like him can muster, murmurs a quiet thank you.


End file.
